We had originally discussed Julia having her first surgery at the end of June but it wasn't meant to be. I called the surgeon's office in the middle of May inquiring about dates and I was told that she likely wouldn't be on the schedule until July.
Okay. No problem.
I called four weeks later to follow up and got some rather disappointing news; Julia won't be having her surgery until the Fall. According to the receptionist, Julia is on "the list" but more time sensitive operations have come up so she's been pushed back. Also, the surgeon is taking the entire month of August off so that means Julia won't be booked until September/October (hopefully).
At this point, we have discussed with the neurosurgeon that she will have her first cranial surgery when she is between nine months and one year old - that's sometime between September and December. So, I'm mentally preparing myself for one big surgery day where both her cranial vault (head) and syndactyly release (hands) happen together.
There are pros and cons to having them together though. I mean, having anesthesia only once for both procedures is a nice idea, as is the fact that she will be that much older and stronger. But, she will be under for much longer and there will now be multiple body parts healing at the same time. I'm not a doctor though, so that's about as far as my pros and cons list goes at this point.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't effected by this timeline change. Her surgery feels like a dark, looming cloud. You know that thunderstorm you see off in the distance while you sit outside under blue skies? You keep waiting for it to move over top and unleash the rain, the thunder, and the lightening. The only difference is that the thunderstorm may just pass by and miss you altogether. Julia's surgeries are inescapable; the only variable here is time. I'm trying to let the anticipation and anxiety go - give it up to God. He knows what the timing will be and it will be perfect. But I struggle with letting go of the plans I make in my head.
I felt the same way when Julia was born. The ideas I had of what it would be like to have a new baby in the family were shattered with Julia's arrival. I am still sometimes grieving the loss of the "typical" family I had envisioned but I do know now that it gets easier every day. Consciously telling myself to let go of the worry and anxious feelings I have surrounding surgery timing and details is hard, but necessary. I will continue to call the surgeon's office every so often to make sure Julia doesn't slip through the cracks, but I know that ultimately the details are not up to me and so I have to unclench my fists and receive peace while we wait.
On the lighter side of life.....look at this growing munchkin!
We started solid food and she's doing amazingly! She has a whole repertoire of food already: rice cereal, strawberry, spinach, nectarine, egg, pancake, cauliflower, broccoli, pork....the list goes on and on. Oh, and I shouldn't forget whipped cream. I made whipped cream the other night for dessert (see below photo!) and Chad shared a few small fingertips swiped in the white goodness with Julia. She still ate her rice cereal the next meal though, so she hasn't been completely ruined!
Oh, and Julia is on the move! Not in the way you would expect however.... One minute she's playing on her mat.
The next thing I know she's off in the corner complaining she's getting stuck under the cupboard!
Note how she's still on her back though? She lays on her back, pushes her feet onto the ground which lifts her little bum up and then she slides herself backwards. It's pretty funny to watch; I get a kick out of it!
It's interesting, and encouraging, that she's moving around since she's now considered developmentally delayed in her rolling. By 6 months of age babies should be rolling at least in one direction (front to back or back to front) and Julia isn't doing either. I've coaxed and helped her roll onto her tummy a couple of times but she won't just do it on her own. We are assuming it's due to her head being heavier than the average so it takes more effort and coordination to roll. I don't think she's too far off of doing it but she is delayed so it's really nice to see that she's still wanting to move and explore.
Abby is getting to be quite the little character. She's got a strong will and is learning to assert her two year old independence but she's a lot of fun. Oh, and she's got really great style.
All in all, life is grand. These two fill my days and my heart.
Oh, and Chad. He's pretty darn fantastic at filling my heart, too.
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