I know that mother's day is bittersweet for some - the ones who have lost a mom, have lost a child, have not been blessed with a child no matter how hard they try, etc. I try to be sensitive to that.
Reflecting on my own journey as a mom is definitely bittersweet as well - even with children of my own.
Before having our oldest daughter we had a miscarriage. It was heartbreaking and discouraging. When Abby was conceived and born healthy it was such a joyous event in light of what had happened! Since then I have loved watching her grow and learn (in between her exasperating two year old tantrums) into an amazing little girl.
Rewind to last April and life changed when we found out we were pregnant again. Fast forward those nine pregnant months and our beautiful Julia was born. It was the best and hardest day of my life as we entered into the unknown of a child needing special medical attention. I don't fully understand it yet, but there is a grief associated with having a special needs child. It's not that I would change anything about her but there is this sadness I wrestle with. It rears it's ugly head when I am confronted with the parts of our lives that are not the "normal" things that families deal with.
Multiple doctors appointments, talks of surgeries to come, the reality of her struggling to fit in as she grows up, the stares and quiet whispers of strangers as they catch sight of her hands....all these things weigh down on you as a parent. I try to stand tall while I face it all, knowing that my strength is what Julia and Abby will grow in as they find their way in the world. I remind myself that I am blessed to have these beautiful girls of mine. That nothing compares to having a child - they are my heart beating outside of my body. They really are my whole world.
Julia brought out my fears but also a fierce love that I didn't know existed within me. Some days I wonder why we were chosen to raise her but I can't imagine life without her in it.
On this day where we get to be celebrated as mothers I want to make sure you all know how amazing you are. We all have different roads and different battles but collectively we are all moms. I believe all women have mothering spirits. We have ups and downs, triumphs and sorrows, craziness and peaceful times. We are women. We are moms. And together we can change the world, one child at a time.
Raising Julia is teaching me that it really does take a whole village to raise a child. We cannot do it alone. So today, I extend a thank-you to every mother or mothering friend or stranger that will cross paths with us and teach our children valuable lessons about life and love and kindness.
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